Don and his new friend Arty were having a drink together, and were talking about their respective married lives. “I had sex with my wife before we were married,” said Don, “did you?” “Gee, I don’t know,” answered Arty. “What was your wife’s maiden name? .
Archive for November, 2009
An Irishman went to London for a visit to the zoo. While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person’s age. The Irishman was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. The man had the elephant look at [...]
If a man calls someone a liar in a room full of politicians, how do you know who he’s talking to?
This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. “Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?” She told him, “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.” Then he asked, “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” She replied, “Well, your father and I were in [...]
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: PERSONNEL DEPT. SUBJECT: REST ROOM PRIVILEGES In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the rest room under informal guidelines. Effective this date, a “Rest room Trip Policy” (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee’s rest room time. Under this policy, a [...]
The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done really well. The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middle man and sell the peaches directly to the consumer. So he loaded his pickup with [...]
Today is the day of the annual football game between Texas A&M and Texas University….It’s probably going to be a blowout, unfortunately. Texas A&M’s brightest petroleum engineering graduate was hired by a Saudi Arabian prince to develop oil resources, and he was so successful the Arabian became the wealthiest man in the world. In [...]
When the man first noticed his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks, and nearly nine inches later, the man became concerned and the couple went to see a urologist. After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though [...]
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to [...]
An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. Until the boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies…Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, [...]
